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Sunday, May 04, 2003
 
My Baby Naming Rules

A co-worker became a father this week, and this got me thinking about what makes a good baby name. I've put together a list of four attributes for a "good" name.

  1. Fairly unique - Names are suppose to identify a person. If a name is shared with too many others, the name loses its usefulness as an identifier. Confusion results. This is a somewhat qualitative rule that can change over time. Some examples of overly common names that I don't think there would be argument over include "John", "George", and "Jim".
  2. Two syllables - Unlike the last one, this is a very quantitative rule. A two syllable name has the advantage over a one syllable name in being able to be heard more easily. If there's a cough while the name is said, it's less likely to mask the entire name. Based on this, some may ponder a three or more syllable name. But then it gets too long and cumbersome.
  3. Can't easily be abbreviated - This is also another reason why names shouldn't be more then two syllables. Three or more syllable names are more likely to be abbreviated into a one syllable name. When this happens, the advantage of having a multiple syllable name is wasted. Also, confusion exists throughout the person's life. When should you use your unabbreviated name versus your nick name?
  4. Straightforward spelling - This is a relitively new rule for my list that another co-worker mentioned to me. She experienced the importance of this rule with her son. When you tell someone your name, you want his first assumption about its spelling to be right.

What would be examples of good names? Let's take the Seinfeld characters as a case study.

First, take the name Jerry. I'm not sure if this totally meets my first rule. However, it's no "John". On my second rule, it passes. It also would pass my third rule unless of course his real name (character or actual real name) is "Gerald" or something like that. Finally, it passes my fourth rule with a pretty generally accepted spelling. So this name makes a good name.

The name "Elaine" also does a pretty good job at the four rules. Same with "Kramer". However, I guess "Kramer" is actually the character's last name. His first name was "Cozmo". Is "Cozmo" a good name? If a name is too unusual, the person may feel compelled to be called by something else. So "Cozmo" is probably a little too unusual. The same goes with George's favorite name of "Seven". This would probably be too unusal for a name. So even though "Seven" passes my four rules, it probably wouldn't make for a good name due to its oddity for a name. I probably need to add this as my fifth rule...

The only definitely bad name on Seinfeld is "George". This fails the first two of my rule. On the other hand, his real name of "Jason" holds up pretty well against my rules.




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