Humorous Seinfeld Quotes

I came across some more funny Seinfeld quotes this week.

I was raised to give up

The first is from the episode where Jerry, Elaine, and George decide to volunteer to visit senior citizens. Things turned out to be tougher than they had anticipated. George actually had the easiest assignment. However, he blew it when he became obsessive about old age in his conversation with his senior which made the senior walk out and leave George holding the bill at the coffee shop. Jerry probably had the toughest assignment, and he brought up the fact that he was considering on quiting. Elaine then questioned the wisdom of quiting. George then gave the following hilarious quote supporting his decision to quit:

I'm a great quiter, that's one of the few things I do well. I come from a long line of quiters, my father was a quiter, my grandfather was a quiter, I was raised to give up.

George the Tourist

This is the episode where George comes across a New York visitor centor employee who thinks George is a New York tourist. George starts seeing this lady and decides that being considered a tourist has some advantages. So George continues to pretend to be a visitor and wants to make it look like he was able to get his current job (working in the Yankees organization) and his apartment as someone new to New York. Here is how George described it to Jerry:

You know, if you take everything I've accomplished in my entire life and condense it down into one day, it looks decent.

BTW, this was the same episode where Elaine comes up with the idea of selling muffin tops. Her former boss actually starts a shop called "Top of the Muffin to You!". Wonder if there are any shops out there who are actually selling muffin tops?

The first Seinfeld Episode?

I'm not positive, but I think this was the first Seinfeld or at least one of the first. This was the one that started with Jerry commenting about George's top shirt button while they were in the coffee shop (similar to how Jerry commented about George's button in the last episode.) One could see the early signs of a great series. The characters of Jerry, George, and Kramer were brought out (Elaine wasn't in this episode). An important atmosphere came out. It was a friendly atmosphere where close quirky friends humourously deal with things in their lives. This provided a foundation for a long sitcom series which would be reinforced by great writing.

The humorous quote was from Jerry while he and George were waiting in the public laundry room:

You can't over dry....The same reason you can't over wet. See once something is wet, it's wet. Same thing with death. Like once you die, you're dead, right? Let's say you drop dead and I shoot you. You're not going to die again, because you're already dead. You can't over die. You can't over dry.

If Real Life Could Only Be Like Seinfeld

Iraq?

Seinfeld reruns provide a nice break from reality these days. In the news, it looks likely that the US will go it along against Iraq. Seems like most would prefer the US to only go in if the UN Security Council passes another resolution. The chances of that resolution doesn't look good. So Bush will have to make the unpopular decision to go in alone.

North Korea?

Many Democrats are complaining about too much focus on Iraq and not enough on North Korea which may already have some nuclear bombs and are aggresively going forward on their nuclear program. Seems like the Bush administration may want to keep quiet on North Korea while they take care of Iraq. Then they can turn attention to North Korea. If military action is necessary in Iraq based on the principles of preventive action, it seems more necessary in North Korea. The peaceful agreements that were put in place in the 90's supposedly failed badly. It didn't stop North Korea from pursuing their nuclear program or in selling weapons.

So it looks like action in Iraq for the next month, then attention to North Korea. Probably, the US will push North Korea diplomatically through other countries in that region and through the UN. If no progress is made within a few months, I don't see any alternative for the US other than force if Bush is serious about the principle of prevention. Such action will be much tougher than Iraq on both diplomatic and military fronts.

Historical Significance

If Bush is able to end the regimes of Iraq and North Korea in his term (without creating a disaster), he will likely go down in history as one of the greatest presidents, on a scale similar to Lincoln. In the short term, many will consider him a tyrant. But it should be remembered that many considered Lincoln a tyrant during his days.

Many worry about the precedent this will set if the US acts alone to change regimes. It will make future countries more likely do the same (in ways we won't like). It will add to the US appearance of arrogance in the world, making it harder in our fight against terrorism. Many argue that this will make the future world more dangerous.

What Kind of Leader Could Have Stopped Hitler Early?

It's interesting to ponder the situation in Europe in the 1930's. Although there are many differences between 1930's Germany and today's Iraq, there are a few similarities. Many say Hitler could have been stopped if the European leaders put their foot down early, such as when Hitler reoccupied the Rhineland with armed forces. However, would Hitler have just given up? What kind of action would have been necessary by a French or British leader in the early or mid 1930's to have prevented the European World War II? Would it have just taken tougher diplomatic actions? Perhaps that would have made it more difficult for Hitler, but would it have stopped Hitler? In my opinion, a French or British leader would have had to go into Germany forcefully no later than 1936 to end Hitler's regime. Even though Germany wasn't nearly as strong as it was in 1939, that still would have been extremely difficult. Many neighbors such as Italy would have been vehemently against it. It would have made the British or the French look like war mongers. Hitler would have made it look like he and Germany were the victims of naked aggression.

Again, there are many differences between 1930's Germany and today's Iraq. Iraq has been contained for the last 12 years. The UN has at least put inspectors back into Iraq which has had limited success. But how threatening did Germany look in 1935? How would a change of regime in 1935 Germany affected situations in Asia? How dangerous are the regimes like those in Iraq and North Korea? Can they just be contained? Can't the US deal with these problems in a less arrogant and peaceful way? How did September 11 change the idea of containment?

It's the nature of weak leaders to always find reasons why not to act. However, it's also the nature of tyrants to always find reasons to act. For better or for worse, history is being made this year... Now I have to go back and watch some more Seinfeld reruns.....

posted by Ken on 12:59 PM permalink and comments  

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